From the time I stepped off the ice after my first minor hockey game, I knew I was going to play in the NHL. It wasn’t so much a “dream” as it was a journey of faith. Despite all the naysayers along the way who advised how difficult it would be and how low the odds were, I always believed I would be the “one in a million”. It was laid out in my mind from a very young age, and there was never any doubt. It was a tough road filled with many setbacks, but I overcame each obstacle with determination and self-assuredness that my destiny awaited and nothing was going to prevent me from meeting it.
In the end, I was right. I made it. I played in the NHL, in the best league in the world, with the best players in the world, on the best team in the world at the time, the Detroit Red Wings. I was part of a Stanley Cup championship and played with some of my idols, legends of the game like Steve Yzerman, Nick Lidstrom, Chris Chelios, and Brett Hull to name just a few. For a short time it was everything I dreamt it would be. Unfortunately, dreams don’t always last.
My vision was to play for 20 years, achieve great things, and retire on my own terms, but like many young players my career didn’t exactly unfold the way I’d projected. I was battling to break in and earn playing time as a young player on the best team in hockey, an arduous challenge in and of itself. Tack on a serious car accident, two hernia surgeries, and a handful of other ill-timed injuries, and suddenly my steady trajectory was off the rails.
Ultimately it all came to a crashing, premature halt one night in October of 2003, when a slew foot left me with a life altering concussion. The symptoms were so severe I never made it back to the ice, and that was the last game I ever played. As much as I wanted to keep chasing the dream, I was incapable of training and the potential of sustaining another head injury was just too risky. My career was officially over. At the tender age of 26, I found myself brain injured, married with a newborn daughter, and for the first time in my life, completely without direction.
Stepping away was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.
2002 Stanley Cup Champions
Detroit Red Wings
I was devastated, but I knew I had to move on. As hard as it had been to step away I felt confident I’d be able to move forward in a positive direction. I was an intelligent guy who’d always done well in school, and I had many interests. But what you find out when you’re trying to discover another career is that interests are just that – “interests”. I struggled to find something I was truly passionate about.
I dabbled in real estate, purchasing a number of rental properties that were lucrative, but failed to fulfill my competitive nature. I considered becoming a real estate agent. I took classes at the local college, trying to pique an interest with the intention of going to business school. It was all to no avail, and I found with each passing day the anxiety building up within me became increasingly unbearable.
Like so many other professional athletes, I was struggling with the transition into life after sport.
In time I fell into coaching with my former junior team, the Red Deer Rebels, and thought I was on my way again. What started as an opportunity to “test the waters” and see what coaching was all about turned into an eight year stint, the final four plus seasons as Head Coach and General Manager. It was a great run and I loved it, but as opportunities for advancement presented themselves along the way, it became evident that the potentially nomadic coaching lifestyle was in conflict with the way my wife and I envisioned raising our family. I loved coaching in Red Deer, but I had no intention of packing up my wife and kids to haul them around the continent as I attempted to work my way up the coaching ladder.
When I was eventually relieved of my duties, I experienced the same emotions and confusion I had when my playing career ended. Now what? What are my interests? What do I want to throw myself into? I took a job in the Oil and Gas industry, an excellent position in Business Development, but eventually became bored and unfulfilled. I jumped into a business startup, but quickly realized that wasn’t the path for me either. The hopelessness was back, and again I struggled.
It was around this time I was approached by Kim Senecal and Bradford Walterhouse who expressed interest in my story and experience transitioning to life after hockey. They introduced me to a concept they’d been developing to help current and former professional athletes with life after sport. As I shared my story and insights with them it became very clear they could help me.
We’ve spent a lot of time together over the past year and I’ve come to understand so many things I wish I had known when I first retired. Here are a few I’d like to share so hopefully any athlete going through what I did can move forward without the same struggles.
Head Coach / General Manager
Red Deer Rebels, WHL
Recognise you’re starting from a position of strength.
For most of us, there’s a period of fear, apprehension, and doubt following retirement, a sense that we might not measure up in terms of the “real world”. In reality, this couldn’t be further from the truth. As professional athletes, we have many highly developed skills that are coveted in the working world. The ability to communicate, work under pressure, handle adversity, be disciplined, set goals, and work in a team environment are just some of the skills we bring to the table as athletes. Lack of skill or ability isn’t the issue; the issue is finding the right way to channel and focus those skills in a productive and fulfilling manner, and in most cases we need some guidance with this.
Get help and find someone who really knows how to listen.
I can’t stress this enough. Sure, some athletes step right into the next thing and transition with ease, but from my observations and conversations with many ex-teammates and players, I would venture that they are the minority; there are far more of us who struggle. Help is not a dirty word.
Talking through things with someone you trust can be hugely valuable, and it’s probably the most helpful thing the guys do for me. They’re actually trained coaches. They get me talking through where I’ve been, where I’m going, and know when to challenge my thinking or point out when my decisions don’t align with my values.
I’ve learned there’s a huge difference between talking with friends and family about what you’re going through, and talking with someone trained to listen and help you sort through critical things to move forward. Both are valuable, and both can help. We’ve all had coaches and trainers who’ve aided us in our careers, and anyone who’s had success in any field or endeavor hasn’t done it alone. You don’t have to make this journey on your own, either.
Take the time to explore and understand your core values.
This has been a huge one for me, and something I thought I had a good understanding of until I started working with the guys.
When I was a player there was no doubt what mattered most. My values were crystal clear. Things like determination, work ethic, perseverance, and commitment to team all helped me compete at the highest level.
Out of the game I was unaware those same values were sometimes getting in my way. Like becoming consumed with my job when I should be paying attention to my family, or attempting to grind through a workout that was actually setting me back rather than pushing me forward. I didn’t know it at the time, but there was still a whole lot to be discovered about my values.
The recent work I’ve done has helped me understand what really matters most, and why it matters so much. I have new insight into my most important relationships, and I can see why some of the careers I attempted after hockey weren’t the best fit for me. In some way each new career was in conflict with my core values and never really stood a chance. I can say with absolute certainty the career path I’m on now is the right one. It’s something I love and know how to follow without losing sight of the other things that matter to me. Understanding and honoring my values deliberately has given me a sense of freedom and clarity I haven’t experienced since my playing days.
Envision a new future and start planning for it.
Set your sights on something the way you did with the dream of becoming a Stanley Cup Champion, an Olympic medalist, or reaching the pinnacle of your sport.
Like so many other players, my path to the NHL started with the end in mind. I imagined lifting the Stanley Cup as part of a winning team, competing with the best and being one of them. Everything I did from a young age was influenced by that vision, and every new level I reached was one step closer to it. I was always working towards that big goal.
When my playing days were over, it was the exact opposite. I didn’t have a new dream. I didn’t know how to find one. I had spent the majority of my life with absolute clarity, and now I didn’t know what I was chasing anymore. I felt lost, and made a lot of moves in no particular direction.
It took a while, but I finally landed on something I was passionate about. I had a vague idea of my path, but no real detail on what my future could be like or how I would even pursue it. Again, seeking help proved invaluable, I really wish I had accessed it earlier. I finally have the same clarity I did as a young kid chasing my dream of playing in the NHL. I have a new dream and have mapped out a clear path the reach it. I know what I want from my career, my family, and my goals in life and I’m working towards achieving them with confidence. For the first time since my playing days I’m pursuing something with full engagement.
You may or may not have that now, and it’s okay if you don’t. Just realize you don’t have to sit around waiting for it to show up. You can make a plan to find it again. In fact you NEED to make a plan to get clear on it. You need to take steps to identify and explore options that will allow you to put your strengths into play again, to explore your values, strengths, and vision of the kind of life you want to lead and seek out opportunities that align with them. That’s where help from others can be invaluable, to get you started on the process of figuring out what comes next.
Jennifer, Sawyer, Bella & Jesse Wallin
We all find ourselves in a different situation when our careers are over. Some of us had short lived careers, while others played for a great length of time and amassed large fortunes. Regardless of your situation, we all have a huge portion of our life remaining when our athletic careers come to an end, and we need to take advantage and embrace that. Life’s too short to just “battle through”. We owe it to ourselves, our families, our friends, and our loved ones to be our best, yet much like sport, it’s tough to make that happen on your own.
I’m thankful to have crossed paths with Kim and Bradford – disappointed that it didn’t happen ten years sooner, but definitely better late than never. I would gladly speak to anyone who is interested in finding out more about my experience working with them or to make an introduction. I’m sure there are many others out there also doing great work as well, and if you find someone else who can assist you, that’s fantastic. The bottom line is most of us aren’t prepared for life after sport and it can be an incredibly difficult mountain to navigate on your own, so don’t be afraid to seek help. It could end up being the best investment you ever make.
